Children’s books and songs can get long sentences right. In my house, we’re really enjoying this gem from a book from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library:
- There’s a Fish near the Gnat on the Fly on the Hair on the Frog in the Hole in the Log on the Bottom of the Lake.
Loren Long’s There’s a Hole in the Log on the Bottom of the Lake adapts a classic children’s song and adds beautiful illustrations. Each stanza adds to the list of critters found on the log. It’s fun to read and really fun to read at top speed. Even though—and perhaps because?—8 of its 27 words are prepositions.
I thought of this sentence when I came across a long academic sentence from a client recently. I considered shortening this academic sentence but ultimately left it alone. (Here I replaced the key technical phrase for the purposes of this post).
- After all, [responding appropriately] best honors the idea that we benefit in a wide range of ways from different kinds of under-regulated markets that harm others in specific and different ways.
I think this long sentence works despite its numerous qualifying phrases and detail. It’s prepositions are a bit over-the-top: that..in..of..from..of..that..in.* But somehow they flow neatly in order and don’t trip up comprehension. (And “honors” is a strong verb that breaks up the monotony of the academic “is” and other overused academic verbs). I read it several times and began to get a “Hole in the Log” vibe. I’d begin a revision by trying to cut one of the “different”s and “ways”s, but I decided it worked as it is in its context.
*”That” is not a preposition, but I had to look up what part of speech it is. I think that in this context it is a relative conjunction.